Saturday, October 11, 2014

Are You Kidding Me? Wedding Antics.

I beg of you...please, please, please do NOT subscribe to the behaviors that I am about to discuss!  I cannot contain this rant any longer! So much so that I am about to write a blog post when I have not done so in probably two years or more!  Whew.  Sometimes the human race is embarrassing.  Myself included for sure.  But if I ever do any of the following...beat me up.  Black and blue.  "Xrays needed" beating, please!

Having worked at an upscale wedding venue for over a year now, I have seen it all!  So I am about to give you a LIST of things you should NOT do or even THINK of doing at a wedding.

1.  Dress appropriately.  You are not going to Da Club.  Nobody wants to look at all the things you *should* have covered up before you walked out your door.  Especially once you start "wobbling" on the dance floor!

2.  If you cannot respect the Bride and Groom enough to leave your bluetooth at home, don't come. Recently, I observed one that was so big it looked like a Brittany Spears throwback mic.  You are not secret service and this is not the President's wedding.

3.  If you are a Maid of Honor or Best Man, do NOT...I repeat, DO NOT get so drunk that the Bride and Groom have to run around at the last minute to find someone to do their toasts because you are not capable.  Humiliating.

4.  If you are the Bride or Groom, do NOT get so drunk that you end the night with a fight that includes such statements as:  "You ruined my wedding"  "I knew this was a mistake"  "?*&@ you"
and the like.  Especially when half of your guests hear it and want to pick their gift back up and make good use of it themselves!

5.  If you are attending the wedding as a couple and you just cannot hold back on a very public argument,  save yourself the humiliation and go home before it escalates to that point.  Everyone is looking at you.  Everyone is embarrassed for you.  And the Bride and Groom are hoping they don't wind up like you.

6.  Don't spend the entire night texting, tweeting and posting on your cellphone.  Be present.  Nothing says "I love you" to the Bride and Groom than people who are engaged in everything that is happening.  Your phone will be there for you like a faithful friend when the night is over.

7.  Smile.  Don't act like it is killing you to go to a wedding.  This might save you from point #5 if you are there with a date.

8.  Don't try to bust up into the Bridal room or Groomsman's room to say "hey" before the ceremony.  You will get to see them soon enough!  Besides, you might disrupt a private moment between the Bride and Groom, the Mom and Bride, etc.

9.  Never, ever, ever start going from table to table sucking down all the half consumed alcohol drinks (that are not yours) just because the bar has stopped serving.  You look desperate.  And down right stupid.

I could go on and on.

Weddings are celebrations, so CELEBRATE!  But do it in a manner that is respectful and honors the Bride and Groom and their families.

Rant over until the next wedding.

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