Keep Chasin' Me!

If I ascend into the sky

Or hide behind the night

I can not run

Your love is chasing me

--Leeland

the C word

At first glance and maybe longer, this is a beautiful picture. But this picture is of a life destroyer..a dream killer...a hope squasher....a paramount struggle....a ferocious battle...a true enemy--the enemy within.

This is a picture of cancer. Specifically, this is colon cancer. It was my Aunt Jean's diagnosis today.

Suddenly this picture is ugly. Incredibly ugly.

Pray for Jean.

True Friend

Elijah's friend Vance has been here all day (except when he left to go to football practice) sitting with Elijah while he recovers....

now THIS is a true friend!

So far...So Good

Today Elijah had all 4 wisdom teeth removed. So far...so good. Looks pretty good, eh?

The day started with a meeting at 7 am. I sit on the production team at our church and I get to evaluate and celebrate the service from the previous Sunday. Afterward we talk about upcooming services, sermon series and desired outcomes. I had considered missing this meeting with E's surgery pending this morning. I am so glad I didn't. I need the people I sit at the table with on Tuesday mornings. Even if my mind was 1,000 other places, I was glad I went. Not sure if I contributed a thing but I am glad I was there nonetheless.

After leaving the meeting, I ran by the house and made 2 bowls of jello and 1 bowl of pudding. Now--we are ready to conquer the wrath of oral surgery!! We packed up and headed to Midlothian.

The funniest thing that happened was in the waiting room. Elijah and I arrived to a somewhat empty waiting room and then they starting coming....one by one.....we became surrounded by pre-medicated patients. I had opted NOT to give Elijah the prescribed diazepam. I am so glad I did! These teenagers were HIGH out of their minds! Some could not sit upright in the chair, others were being loud and giggly while their parent wanted to crawl under their seat. Others had slurred speech and kept wanting to break the "turn off your cellphone" rule. It was quite the scene!

Elijah and I just kept looking at each other like "What on God's green earth is going on here????"

Anyway...Elijah went through his procedure just fine. Didn't say too many hysterical things for me to post here. He did keep asking me if someone "carried" him into the post procedure room because he does not remember walking!

No, Elijah. You walked. I promise.

After we got home, Sarah brought him a milkshake which was awesome of her.

Right now there are 8 friends hanging out in the living room watching a movie with him.

We are keeping on the ice and will continue that regimen all through the night. No pain meds. Only good 'ol ibuprofen and an antibiotic.

Thanks for all the concern and the prayers! God is good!

Go USA!

USA vs. Brazil
Given my love of Brazil (my blog header pic is in my "home away from home" Salvador, Brazil)--this will be a tough one! I feel so torn!

But I am American...and I will be cheering for the US Women's team as they step out on the pitch later this week! Go Team!!

I sure hope I get whatever channel will be showing this. And what's up with that???? I can watch trampoline finals but the women's soccer gold medal round is not on NBC?? I don't get it. Somebody explain, please.


p.s. I'm sure I won't resist cheering on the blue, yellow & green from time to time. They are American, too! SOUTH American!

Emotional Bankruptcy

It is very distressing when people you love are struggling. For me, it is much harder to watch my family members struggle than when I am in a struggle myself. I would much rather be the one that is suffering. I am a people pleaser by nature. I like to make other's load seem lighter. It is what I am wired to do. And when it is what you are wired to do and yet you cannot seem to fix it--it is very overwhelming.

My father has so many struggles. A heart condition, diabetes, lymphoma, a degenerated hip that cannot be fixed, some dementia and a new diagnosis of Alzheimers. His hip causes him so much pain that he has a implanted pain pump that delivers enough meds to knock over a large cow, I'm sure..and yet, he still has pain. He has to augment this pain pump with oral pain meds from time to time which only adds to his moods being altered.

My father's struggles dominate the life of my stepmom who is his caregiver. Her days are filled with caring for him and little time to herself. Most of the time she is up to the task. Some days, she just can't take it anymore. Recently, that has been the case. And as his children, we have been left with the panic and anxiety that goes along with sorting out the future. Many questions. Many concerns for both Daddy and Momma Mary.

I feel like I am plunging into emotional bankruptcy.

I watched my mother fight leukemia for 10 years as my father held the role of caregiver. I didn't think I would survive her death. I literally thought it would cost me my life, the inability to take my next breath without my Mom. Of course that is not the case, God gives live and breath. But it is how I felt. I was a young single Mom and very desperate at the thought of losing her. And now, I am here watching my Daddy struggle in the same way.

In it all, THANK YOU God for gently reminding me of these things:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Josh. 1:9

"Blessed be GOD- he heard me praying. He proved He's on my side; I've thrown my lot in with Him Now I'm jumping for joy and shouting and singing my thanks to Him." Psalm 28:7 (Msg)

"Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh. 8:10b

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth." Psalm 121;1-2

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Phil. 4:6-7

Thank you God for making deposits into my soul through your Word and saving me from certain emotional bankruptcy.

Oh What a Time!

So, yesterday was the day!! Ashleigh and Scott's wedding reception. Everything about it was perfect! The reception hall was transformed into a tropical oasis. The bridge and groom looked great and fun was had by all. It was just so special to spend time with my family. I hardly ever get to spend time with my husband and three boys all together but to have my entire family (minus one brother-in-law who was sick) together was priceless!
The mother (my sis Judy) and the bride in a mother/daughter moment

Ashleigh and Judy in their now famous sunglasses and pose

My husband, Andy looking very handsome

The three best boys in the world, our sons.

Jared and Elijah chill before the wedding
Kong, Jessica and me

The father of the bride (Robert) and my Daddy

My Daddy really enjoyed "dancing" with all the ladies!

Jessica joins her Paw-Paw on the dance floor for a slow dance. Precious.

The tropical paradise

Elijah and Jared tear up the dance floor

My Daddy's sisters, Jean and Clara

Zach, me and ElijahMy brother Jay and his wife, JenniferJessica and my precious Aunt Dora Dean. She bought this dress in Hawaii many years ago and had never worn it. She pulled it out of her trunk for the tropical themed reception! Isn't she special?My two sisters......LOVE THEM!

Mr. Handsome, Elijah

Nephews Joseph and Justin chat it up with Uncle Robert